How can I get my husband to go for an evaluation?
I am worried that Bill, my husband, has dementia, but how do you know? How can I get him to go to the doctor for an evaluation? Also, at the doctor's office, he's quite normal. But at home it is much different.
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I believe that because your husband anticipates being questioned at the dr's, he may well be prepared and behaves appropriately, so as to not arouse suspicion about what may well be actually going on, unfortunately.
Also, because the visit is so short, it is pretty easy for our loved ones to "fool" others, believe me!
My mother rests up and readies herself for such visits. However, I'm afraid she is more aware and less able to cover what is going on, hence her lack of cooperation with me, to go to the doctor.
As it now stands, her doctor will be visiting her at home, so there will be no wriggling out of it.
Another point to remember, most people are not around our LOs for very long (under 1/2 hour, usually). However, if they were to be tested, as you hope for, it would be telling.
Does your husband have a dr he has seen more recently? If so, maybe an evaluation could be scheduled and a suggestion can be made (by the dr) as to how you might get your hubby to be tested.
Please keep us posted.
Hi Sherpar,
Welcome to our site and to our forum! Most folks with dementia in the early stages are quite able to hide their symptoms, especially at doctors' appointments. It's not that they don't have them -- it is that they have already, almost instinctively, learned how to compensate for the losses.
Likewise, doctors often have no way to identify the loss if it does not show up on an objective testing instrument such as the MMSE (mini-mental status exam) or other test. However, you will find as things move along your husband will be less able to manage to cover all the bases at the same time. There will be slip ups and they will appear even during doctor appointments, if he has dementia.
There are special memory clinics that specialize in testing for dementia. I do not know where you are located, but if you are anywhere near Johns Hopkins University Medical Center in Baltimore, MD, or the Mayo Clinic or the Cleveland Clinic, those three have this expertise. Many others do as well.
A thorough battery of tests should include a physical exam with an EKG, blood work, a neurological evaluation, a neuropsychology battery of tests, a computerized test known as the Mindstream series, a psychiatric evaluation (preferably with a geriatric specialist) and possibly an MRI as well. It is best if a gerontologist / geriatrician (a doctor specializing in the diseases of older people) is involved, since this is the specialist who knows best about dementia.
A simple interview with your family doctor is NOT enough -- and a family doc can often miss the first subtle signs that herald the onset of dementia.
Convincing your husband to cooperate in such testing can be difficult -- however, if you catch him at a time when he becomes frustrated with himself over a newly-discovered deficit, then you've got him. Grab the opportunity, make sure you couch it in "teamwork" terms -- the two of you are in this together and are hunting for the answers together -- and avoid the "D" word as much as possible. Just make the appointment with whichever clinic or gerontologist or neurologist that you can, and run with the ball.
Good luck and keep us posted. We care about what's happening with the two of you and want to help as much as we can.
Ann
Ann, I just read your reply and wish someone had given me some of this insight into dementia and Alzheimers 15 years ago when we were still trying desperately to work out what was wrong with my mother and what to do about it. At least then we would have had a plan and had less sleepless nights.
Here we say people use their social skills to cover their lack of cognitive skills. Mum would ask the nurse/social worker to stop so she could have a cup of tea or that she needed to go to the bathroom to give herself a breathing space. The social worker who eventually worked out what was wrong stayed for 1 1/2 hours so Mum just ran out of excuses and admitted she was having some problems with her memory and did need help just doing the "everyday things". I think Dad covered up for a long time how bad she really was. I understand that as socially I do the same about Ray.
Sherpar maybe start a diary listing all the behavior you think is different to the way he used to be and give the doctor excerpts from that to show how different he is at home to how he is in the doctor's rooms. That is if you trust the doctor not to show it straight to your husband. If you are worried about that I would just keep it for your own information.
Sue.
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7/15/2011 Welcome Sherpar
Good that you have found this website and Ann's Caregiver Forum.
My Mom has very advanced Alzheimer's. In the early years she resisted talking with the doctor about memory changes and driving problems. But, she did eventually discuss things with her doctor.
What things are happening with Bill that makes you concerned that he may have dementia? And, how is he different from at the doctor's office and at home?
Sometimes other health problems can cause someone to look like they have dementia. Has Bill had a through physical with blood labs recently?
I don't know Bill's age. But, if he is having some memory problems, it could be just a part of normal aging for some adults.
There is a website that offers some self-tests to help determine if dementia is involved. The following article explains about the self-tests and offers a place to go to print out the tests. Toward the middle of the article, you will find some words in blue print. If you click on those words, it will take you to the tests. Maybe you can get Bill to take the tests at home.
http://www.alzheimersweekly.com/content/self-test-dementias-such-alzheimers
There is also a section in the "Library" section on this website that may help you. If you click on the following, you will find articles on dementia diagnosis.
http://www.alzheimersweekly.com/diagnosis-guide
I hope you find the answers you need. Please let us know how you and Bill are doing.
Nancy