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This site was inspired by my Mom’s autoimmune dementia.
It is a place where we separate out the wheat from the chaffe, the important articles & videos from each week’s river of news. With a new post on Alzheimer’s or dementia appearing on the internet every 7 minutes, the site’s focus on the best information has been a help to many over the past 15 years. Thanks to our many subscribers for your supportive feedback.
The site is dedicated to all those preserving the dignity of the community of people living with dementia.
Peter Berger, Editor
I agree with the husband's thought. My wife of 60 years has dementia and so far I am able to care for her at home. Sometimes it is difficult, very difficult, but if my wife was not there and needing my care, there would be a great emptiness in my heart.
Dirk, I admire you so much. Continued strength to you! My dad and mom have been married for 63 years, and Mom has had Alzheimer's for the past 7 years. Dad's care for her (they live in an independent apt in a lovely seniors' complex in Ontario) is not only a beautiful example of unconditional love that is portrayed for us, this is amazing for our children to witness as well. It is far from easy, as you said, but, as the man in the video exclaimed, she is his life. My dad knows when to ask for help, but he is Mom's primary caregiver, and at this point, he wouldn't want it any other way. We support them both as much as we possibly can. We're thankful that at 88 years of age my dad still drives, so they're able to get out and about every day, whether on errands, to see their children and grandchildren, enjoy their church family, or just go out for a drive. 🙂
Jo-Anna: I am crying as I read through Dirk's and your stories…mainly, because it is beyond my grasp or explanation the awesome and wonderful love and care each of your loved one are receiving from their spouses…unfortunately, I do not and can not see ME in that "pedestal" of ultimate love from a spouse.. please call me HURTING WIFE
I wish you the best!
Very beautiful that THIS couple can stay together. (They obviously have the means and resources and she is not exhibiting the unmanageable Alzheimer's behaviors)
However society must remember to NEVER criticize or scorn one of the many thousands of other couples who can no longer live under the same roof due to Alzheimer's.
Alzheimer's disease much more commonly FORCES a couple to live apart (long term care facility) than it allows them to live together. Having to live apart IS NOT A FAILURE! Statistically it is the norm, stories like this are the abnormal outlier.
Read more at http://www.thealzheimerspouse.com
You have made a VERY valid point that it is not possible for many couples/familes to stay together as dementia progresses and behaviour changes. Not only can it be dangerous for the carer but also for the person with dementia.
It is hear breaking when you see some elderly people with dementia becoming violent, aggressive and hostile to their former husband/wife/children etc. or when the person with dementia sits there as if hypnotised staring at the wall immobile when someone is trying to engage with them.
She seems to be sweet and pleasantly confused.
If only that were the case for all.
It isn't the same for all sufferers/carers.
For many carers, it's a life of "abuse" and relentless pressure.
The patient doesn't know and can't help it, but for the carer it's impossible.
To admit you can't cope is not failure…it is your own survival mechanism.
The carer's life is just as valuable as he sufferer's life.
In many cases, the Alzheimer's isn't even diagnosed until the family is at breaking point.
LEGACY stories are easy and fun with this FREE ipad/iphone app take a look at this touching story in the photo ….then join us in recording your loved ones' stories http://www.storiesetc.com